It's hard going through the stages of life not being able to identify who you are, especially when you "live in darkness" and have no one to turn to. You remotely travel in the shadows of what society portrays as the norm and try so hard to discipline yourself to follow in the footsteps that have been laid out for you. It becomes frustrating to divert from a passage that your parents have instilled in you and what religion has punctured into your brain. You automatically question your desires, your future, your love and most importnatly your destiny.
When I look at myself and question my sexuality I wonder what it would be like to openly express myself without the hate. What it would feel like to have people not automatically assume what they don't know but mistake to be fact. For several years I pondered how my life would be different if I never decided to "experiment" with a female, but through it all I am proud of who I am. There were times I was confused and hated the fact that I could even draw feelings of liking someone of the same sex. I hated myself for it because it was not "normal." I knew people wouldn't easily accept it and I disliked the irritating questions that followed.
However, I have grown comfortable in my own skin. I realize people are always afraid of the unknown or quick to pass judgment on things they don't understand. With that assumptions will continuously be made because people need something to entertain themselves with. Yea I like girls, but it has never stopped me from liking men. Although I play two sides of the fence it doesn't make me greedy or promisicous I just am drawn to people that capture my attention regardless of gender. Who am I say what is wrong and right or to point the finger because at the end of the day it is my life. I'm me.
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